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I’m just now exiting a 20-year relationship with a man, and I have my first girlfriend with whom I am deeply in love. The process of discovery is more exciting and affirming than I ever thought possible. I am astounded every day at the sexual creativity that’s possible between two women, and the liberation from heterosexual norms and roles has been a revelation.

Once you’ve decided which direction you’d want to go in, begin with a toy that will allow you to explore and be playful. Playing together is when you go into a sexual experience with the understanding that pleasure is the focus, not orgasms. Pleasure means paying attention to your partner and noticing how they are breathing, if they are smiling, and if they are showing additional signs that they are interested in the activity. Side note– couples therapy can be a great place to learn, or relearn, the physical tells that your partner is interested or finding pleasure in something. The sex toy industry is currently estimated at $29 billion, and it’s forecasted to reach roughly $52 billion come 2026. Sex toys are everywhere, and there are only going to be more of them.

The Evolved Tongue Tied is our favorite of the "tongue" vibrators we’ve tested. While they’re not as pinpointed as those from the Lelo Dot, we did find that this vibrator’s flickering tongue (measuring about 1 inch long and 0.25 inches wide at the tip) offers powerful, focused sensations. There can be a bit of a learning curve in terms of optimal positioning when using this toy, as applying too much pressure may cause the tongue’s motion to stall. Like the Shegasm 5 Star Rabbit we like, the Inya Sonnet provides dual stimulation, offering both clitoral suction and internal vibration.

• If you are using a foam or gel cleanser, apply a small amount on your sex toy and rub it all around the toy to cover every part. • Remove the battery or unplug your sex toy if it uses plugs or a motor. A mouth gag is a BDSM item that couples can use to experiment with control and power dynamics during bondage.

Vibrators come with varying intensity levels, allowing users to tailor their experience to their specific desires. Whether you prefer a gentle buzz or powerful waves of vibration, the ability to adjust intensity ensures your sex toy can match your mood and preference at any given moment. Thrusting dildos offer a realistic experience, simulating the movements of penetration.

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