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I had convinced myself that passion and lust were for younger people and that part of my life was over, but with this partner, I was having incredibly open, honest, fun, and exciting sex. We were completely comfortable with each other and asked for what we needed, explored each other’s kinks, and took care of each other. He told me he loved me and promised me a life together, but in the least surprising cliche ever, he balked at actually committing to a relationship when my divorce was finalized, and he’s gone now.

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The anus doesn’t lubricate itself (get wet) the way a vagina does, so putting something in your butt without adding lube can be painful, uncomfortable, and even unsafe. And never put a sex toy that’s been in an anus into a vagina without washing it or changing the condom first. If germs from your anus get into your vagina, it can lead to vaginitis. Some people with disabilities or limited mobility use sex toys to make it easier to masturbate, have sex, or do&nbsp